Today, we are talking about our relationship with money. So if you’re new and this is your first time having a conversation with me and we’re talking about our relationship with money, there are a lot of different ways that we can deal with and create and transform and move through how we relate to money. What we do in our world in the Love, then Lead and the heart-centered leadership community is different from most. And all of these things are how we like to personify the energy of money. Just like everything else, it’s energy.
We look at the best, in my opinion, because I’m a quality time person and I’m all about relationships. I like to deal with the things that I’m struggling with or having and personify them.
So we recently had guest experts in our membership, and they were talking about having like a troop of Benjamins. And I used to relate to money as the Benjamin that I kept in my pocket and having a party.
But as a woman and a female entrepreneur, sometimes we women have difficulty in relationships. Like there’s a whole bunch of emotional mental stuff that relates to a male, female relationship. So instead we relate to money as our business bestie, as we want to relate to our bestie.
I’ve just got to tell you guys, I am feeling like my buckets are full and super happy.
My best friend, Natasha, whom I hadn’t seen in months since we’d been gone. She and I have been friends. She knew me when I was married to my ex-husband dude. She sang at that wedding. She has been, you know, one of my long-time, best friends I’ve had here in Los Angeles. So like 20, some odd years. I just got to spend some time with her.
We just had some crazy awesome girl time. So my bucket is full.
But imagine if your relationship was money was like having a playdate or a girl date with your best friend.How are you guys together?
It was really interesting because we were having this conversation about how we talk and why we’re so excited and we like interrupt each other, or we just kind of keep talking on top of each other. It was just so beautiful.
We had coffee together, of course, because coffee is amazing. And it was just such a great time and I feel so full.
So my question is, do you feel full when you’re having that conversation with your friend? Do you? That’s some of the things I’d like to invite you to consider and to really understand how your relationship with money could be recreated.
So here’s just a quick exercise. If you’re struggling in your relationship with your money, here’s some quick little tips on what to do. Take your actual best friend and write down a list of who you guys be together. And I know that’s not proper English, but the ways of being that you are with each other.
So for example, the high energy that Natasha and I just had as we were having that conversation, we were just like, and then there’s this, and then there’s this. There’s very little filter as well. Like I tell her everything.
There is very little that’s off the table in the conversation with her. Twenty some odd years of conversations, it’s all the life and all the challenges and everything.
How are you in talking to money? Do you talk to me about your vulnerability?Do you share money where you’re having challenges? Do you have that kind of conversation? Do you have a regular date together?
So Natasha and I, we were originally going to go get Manny Petty’s cause that’s our thing. It fills the bucket of us time and it builds the bucket of self care time. It’s the big bang for the buck. So to speak in terms of doing that.
But as I called the salon to get our nails set up, they’re like, well, it’s social distancing. So, you know, there’s an empty seat between the two of you as you get your nails done. I was like, that’s not gonna work. It doesn’t fill my bucket of quality time with my bestie because I’m a quality time girl, for sure.
So instead we said 86 to the nails and just had coffee at my kitchen table together and had an amazing time.
So again, I ask you, when you think about money, do you treat her like you treat your best friend? I didn’t hold on to Natasha and say, no, you can’t leave me. You can’t go pick up your kids.
Although there was part of me who wanted to and when she came and I hugged her, I held on very, very long. Very, very long. Because we’re both vaccinated and we can hug each other and oh my God, I hadn’t hugged her in a year and a half.
So, that’s my question. Can you look at who you’re being with your best friend and write it down on a list? Who you guys be together? What’s the energy? what’s the feelings? What’s the outcome after spending time with your best friend?
And then in contrast on another piece of paper, what’s the current relationship you have with money and where is the dichotomy? What are the differences of being with your best friend money? Because your highest healed, most amazing self right is fed.
When you have a best friend, like I have with Natasha, we love and accept each other completely for who we are and completely for who we’re not. We have the freedom to be all of our selves. She’s somebody who loves my crazy spirituality and our crazy expression. It’s all loving, accepting, and honoring. And so those natural ways of being when we are with each other, it’s just us being us.
But if you’re struggling or you have challenges around money, you’re not being your highest, best self around it. There are so many thoughts or past relationships, things that need to be completed.
So this is my invitation.
Make the list. Make the list of who you are with your best friend. Then make a list of who you’ve been being with money and see where the differences are.
See of you could pick one way of being, that you can bring from your best friend, to your relationship with money.
I also invite everybody to have a money play date. Just like I had a playdate with Natasha. We had a coffee date. It was awesome. Do that with your money.
I actually was doing this a little bit last night. Having a conversation and looking at where my money’s been going and coming and looking at all of her comings and goings. Talking about her adventures with her. Money has adventures in which she gets to pay for things and where she’s growing and where she’s having breakthroughs in being.
She grows as my investments grow. We grow.
Natasha and I are both moms of kids the same age and our kids are so similar. So all the things that we do as we grow as parents, you and your relationship with money can be so similar. It was so perfect that I got to have this play date with Natasha right before this Facebook live, I should really tag you, Natasha. I love you. She’s driving. So she can’t watch it.
Those are the things I want to invite you to consider. It’s a really easy exercise. And when you start to have a relationship, when we think of the word relationship, it’s how we are in relation to this other person or thing.
In this case, money’s really hard to think about as a thing, when it really is an energy or an essence. So who are the essences that you really would like to create money to be? And again, that’s why I want you to look at your relationship with your best friend, because it would be great if you and money could go arm and arm hanging out together and having a good old time.
Because she wants you to be your best self, Money. Money wants you to be fully self-expressed. Money wants you to be living your best life. That is what she wants. And if she’s not hanging out, it’s because a part of your not best self is not in that relationship together.
Another thing that we do inside of our membership and it’s a really powerful exercise. I invite you, if you can find somebody else to do some role playing with your bestie as money. If you have an accountability buddy in your life, in your business, or if you have a best friend who wants to have a breakthrough in relationship with money, you guys could do this.
One of you is money and then have a conversation with them. Then switch and then you be money and have a conversation. It’s a very powerful exercise. So that is my tips and tricks for today in terms of transforming your relationship with money. Take on the idea that money is a human being and who are you and how do you relate to each other.
Look at who you are with your best friend, make a list of those ways of being. And then in contrast, make a list of who you’ve been being with money. And maybe you are already acting like best friends, but if not see what ways of being from the best friends that you could take on with money and see how that transforms things.
The third tip or trick would be to actually find somebody who’s willing to have a breakthrough in relationship with money, do some role-playing. One of you take on the personality of money and then switch and complete it like you would complete or apologize.
“Hey, I’m sorry. I’ve been really stingy with you or I’m sorry, I’ve been really jealous with you. That must feel icky.”
Then create a new future.
“Who I’d rather be with you as fun and playful.”
Full disclosure and transparency and all of these things. What are those ways of being that you want to be with your new business bestie money?
Let’s lead a legacy of love together.